The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
