please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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