The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
