apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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