make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
