At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
