I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I did not marry a roomba.
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