she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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