Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
