it hurts more in the daytime
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Your penis caused this!
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