I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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