Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
