in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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