Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize