glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
