I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
