stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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