Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize