you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
