I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
it was like eating out sand paper
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
