God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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