honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
