There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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