Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
