I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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