Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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