even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
