xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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