im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I need to align my fucking chakras
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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