i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize