Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
