I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
