I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
God, I missed his penis.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
