in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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