They should really pass out barf bags in church
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
