kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
