bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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