I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
