for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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