So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
