My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
