Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
