I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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