I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
