did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
