Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
