ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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