she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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