Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize