you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
