3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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