The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
