Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
