its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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