If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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