woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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