It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
where does the pee come out of this thing
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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