with your own penis?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
