How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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