i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do vagina's smell?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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