When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Someone signed my nipple.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
