dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
