we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize