so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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