Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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