Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
